i read somewhere that there's no way to know that your last good day is your last good day. but i should have known. i don't know why i thought i'm gonna have a ton of good days after that day but that's how i didn't know that was my last good day. i thought that after that day i'm gonna be in america with my american friends partying and drinking and i'm gonna fall in love with the perfect girl and have so many more good days. but that didn't happen. my last good day was when you came to my house and we watched Gia and ate cheeseburgers and then we went out and i bought you a cactus. that cactus was my last good day. that cheeseburger was my last good day. when i hugged you at the end of the night while you were crying ; that was my last good day. i didn't know that's gonna be my last good day and i should have known. i should have known that's my last good day when i saw your tears. but i wiped them thinking that we'll both have so many other good days. i should have known that is my last good day when i hugged you. my last good hug.
that was my last good day. when the day was almost over; i looked into Niusha's eyes. i looked into someone's eyes who was my crush for two years and i told her to be fine. i told her to move on from whoever didn't deserve her love because there will be people who deserve her love. i told her that myself didn't i? then why did i fly away from the only people who deserved my love? why did i think i'll find more people that deserve my love? why did i think world is fair? why didn't i know that was my last good day?
i thought my days are gonna be better days after that. but they weren't. i didn't find good people. i didn't find love, i didn't go and drink on the roof top. i didn't go and smoke on the porch. i didn't fall in love again.
and now i'm not just far away from anyone who ever loved me, i'm very far away.